I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
