A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
