It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
