Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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