So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
