in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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