so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
