Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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