Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
