chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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