okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
