Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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