what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
