Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Randomize
