READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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