I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
