I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
