They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
