His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
