dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
