Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
