I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
