With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
