apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
