Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
