And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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