what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
