roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
