on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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