We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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