btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize