So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
