even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
