I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
