so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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