im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
