bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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