Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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