I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
