Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
