remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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