He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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