Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
do nipples grow back?
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