my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just saw a hot homeless man
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
