Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You pole danced in your parka.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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