his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
