what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
