They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
