Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
