wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize