he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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