I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
