sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
