i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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