Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I am one with the molecules
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
