Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
