i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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